Thursday, August 29, 2013

关于教练这个人

今天整理着书架,准备好上大学的一切,无意中看到绽放二十的纪念特刊,所以就打算拿出来看看。当时,心里也只是纯粹的想回味之前的点滴。毕竟过了一段时间,对于往事,还是会存有一些怀念。翻着翻着,到了第四第五页,读完的那一瞬间,我有一种像是一股暖流涌上心头的感触。那是一种打从心底的感动,当时的激动,从此再也停不下来。印象中,这本特刊到手的时候,大家都忙着拍照留念、跟教练要签名,回到家自己也只是看看照片、曲目简介,并没有仔细地看完整本书里面的内容。现在仔细回想,心里觉得很惭愧,像是辜负了他的期望。

我永远忘不了,当我还是在即鼓手的时候,某个夜晚,教练每次跟我传最后一封简讯都会说:"love you son." 当时的感觉是很温馨的,你让我深刻地感受到温暖,你就像是我的亲人一样。后来,我们的距离被拉开,但关系也没有因此而改变,感情日渐增值。尽管多忙碌,你还是如此的关心我,依然不变的那句"love you son." 然而到了今天,这句话依旧荡漾在耳边、在脑海里,此刻回忆浮现,成为了深刻的烙印。看到了这一页,我有全新的感想。我想我是明白你指的「爱」的定位是什么。这种只求付出不计回报的爱,是伟大、美丽的爱。你让我重新了解爱的定义。很多人说爱就要无条件的付出,同时也没有人希望自己付出了不被关心,想爱却又害怕受伤害,所以就不断的拿捏付出的尺度。同样的,虽然这个
「爱」有别于男女之情,可是得不到对事情耗尽心血之后的回报,心里清楚了解自己不应该有这样的想法,但却也因为心中早已有了期盼,所以难免会有些失落。

我想对你说,我很荣幸,可以陪你一起做傻子、一起做傻事。我想亲口感谢你,是你给了我如此丰富的创作灵感和生活感想。众多掌声与鼓励的背后,你给我最多。你总是给着我无限大的动力,抱着明天会更好的心态继续生活。能遇见你,
大概是我人生中值得庆幸的事情之一我心里这么想着。你背后的辛苦和寂寞也许无人能理解,但你义无反顾的爱,包括坚持,让身边的人都深深地感受到你对鼓的热忱。你这份坚持不懈的精神真叫人敬佩。对于这一点,我认为我们大家都有义务向你学习。才明白,我们生活里最有价值的,是追求梦想的这个过程。我从此再也不会轻易说「随缘」这两个字,因为随缘和惜缘真的是两码字的事,上等号的两回事。你说得对,要让缘分持续下去,是要通过一些努力和行动去维持及珍惜的。

我像是了解了什么,你是在用生命来爱鼓。我深信隆中鼓队一定会有更多更灿烂的十年、二十年。
不管过了多久,大家的心仍然连接在一起。此时此刻,你也许听不到也看不见,但我希望你起码能感受到,我对你的爱。对不起咯我最敬爱的教练,现在也只能衷心地祝福你。给我一点时间,我一定会亲自会回来看你,带着满满的爱。

Friday, June 28, 2013

奶奶,我想你了。


每一天的某些时候,我都会不经意地看见这东西在眼前飞过。每当这些不陌生的交通工具飞在这蔚蓝的天空时,那一阵熟悉的声音飘过,我就知道,那一定又是熟悉的飞机了。这些每次在我眼前飞过的飞机,都会让我在想,这次的旅程,是飞往哪个地方呢?

能不能,有一架飞机可以让我乘搭,飞往我想到达的目的地?我好想回到最初的原点,回到这一切故事开始的地方。

其实我想说的是,我好想念你,奶奶。我更想见到你,给你一个充满惊喜与热情的拥抱。每次的通话中,你的声音中是让人很怀念,让人牵挂,听起来让人很忧伤。电话另一头的我,也只能跟自己说,自己很快就能回来了,你要等我,你要等我们。我最害怕跟人通话了,尤其是你,因为每一次都让人控制不住,很想立刻见到你。我每天都在担心你的喜怒哀乐。自从爷爷离开后的那一天,我恨不得马上就回去,看看你,也看看爷爷。无法看到爷爷的最后一面已经成为我这生的遗憾。不断强忍着眼眶中的泪水,每每告诉自己生活会更好的,为了自己爱的人,要更坚强更懂得保护自己、照顾和爱护自己。我每天都在祈求,期望奶奶你能快乐,能停止焦虑,能放下,能看开,能走得更远。

你问我上大学这个转变会不会很辛苦。

你怕我读书读得很辛苦很压力,英文会不会难学。大学要读四年已经是一段很长的时间,加上如果还要去考个什么硕士学位又是两年,等我正式踏入社会的时候父母都一把年纪了,问我怎么读书要读那么久,那么辛苦。

你问我会不会习惯这国家变化多端的气候。风大的时候会不会着凉,下雪的时候要多穿外套,喝温水。

你担心爸爸妈妈找不到工作,为什么要那么辛苦跑到那么远去受苦?

你说我每天都在熬夜,在马来西亚的时候跟在这里没有分别。你希望我早点睡,就算读书也不要读到那么晚。因为熬夜对肝脏不好,使免疫力降低所以容易生病。不要等到一切都补不回来,后悔也来不及,照顾身体要趁年轻的时候。你说看到我这样熬夜读书,让你想起当年的爸爸,年轻的时候也是每天都在熬夜读书,说我越来越像他,特别是在追求妈妈的时候。

你担心我的温饱,问我会不会吃不饱,在这里会不会没有饭吃,会不会每天都在吃快餐吃零食。要吃得健康,要懂得照顾自己。要多喝白开水,不要喝太多的汽水,这样会伤身体,对身体极度不好。

你担心我会被人欺负,要我懂得自我保护。

你问我有没有长高了。要快高长大,保护家人,也保护自己。

你担心我会不会找到女朋友。就算找到的会不会都是白皮肤金头发的女生。

你说现在的我长大了、成熟了,懂得用行动表示关心和问候家人了,你很开心。

你好就好,健康快乐最重要。
这些话,让人有一股很想哭,很想冲向前拥抱一个人的冲动。每次听完你这样说,都会一鼻子酸,不知所措。 
我想亲口跟你说,谢谢你无微不至的关心。我真的很感激,有你这份无私的爱 :')
我无时无刻都因为你的关怀而在感动,很多时候都因为这份感动而有一股冲动想回去第一个抱的人是你。
我这辈子的遗憾,就是无法见到爷爷最后一面。我不希望自己再次经历同样的遗憾。
大学的这个转变固然比想象中的艰难,过程也许真的很辛苦,但想到为了奶奶你,为了爸妈,为了这个家,我会努力撑着,坚持到底。我知道梦想并没有离自己很远,梦想是需要实践的事情。

我想告诉你:

“奶奶啊,你不用担心我。这里虽然长期都很冷,可是穿了外套就没事了。着凉的时候喝喝姜水就会好了,我还是可以像个快乐宝宝一样微笑。”

“既然是大家选择的挑战,就要努力去实践,要去享受而不是埋怨。我们都要共同朝向同一个目标,不是吗?没错,顺境能让人一帆风顺,但我相信当一个人处于逆境的时候,会更加倍努力,改变现状。如果不努力,就算身在顺境,也同样不会成功。”

“奶奶,你不要担心,我会好好照顾自己,我还要照顾你呢。你在这段期间也要好好照顾自己,记得我还在你身旁的时候你每天都很早起,所以你每天也要早睡。我希望你身体依然还是很健康,我希望你可以平平安安。你说人老了生日也没有什么特别的愿望,只希望自己能健健康康,所以你一定会很健康的。”

“我没有被人欺负,而且这里的人很好。我很庆幸地认识了一些可以谈心的朋友。我每天都在努力锻炼,我答应你一定会保护自己,也会保护家人。我不止要为我的家庭减轻负担,我要照顾他们,我要撑起这个家。”

“我也希望能带着我心爱的女生,让你看看她是多么懂事,多么善良的一个女孩。”

因为自己一直是家里的长子,所以家里本身对自己的期望也自然很高,对于很多事都需要自己解决,处理很多事情都必须保持冷静,必须靠自己的双手去争取,靠自己的能力去冒险、奋斗,努力不懈,寻求突破。我一直在努力做自己。我知道自己想要的是什么,所以我下定决心,不会放弃努力。我希望有一天能让你看见我今天的这番成就,我希望你会为这个孙子感到骄傲,看到很棒的我。我希望有一天能带你来这里玩,看看这里的世界,感受这里的自然气息。

有多少人不希望自己的家人能吃得好、住得好也穿得好?但又有多少人能真正做到。

我感觉自己的热血沸腾,我铁了心要努力,比现在,比以往付出更多更多倍努力,为了那一天,从现在开始。当你开始明白生命是怎么一回事的时候,或说明白自己生命的意义,你就会瞬间领悟许多,不会再浪费时间,每分每秒都在努力前进。每一个星期一再也不会是懒散的一天,每一天都是值得奋斗值得向往的一天。


总有一天,我会回去,亲自完成一些还未完成的事。

很多的爱,在很多时候,我们往往都不懂得怎么说出口,只懂得怎么表达,所以更不应该错过仅有表达的机会。过了这次就绝无仅有。人间有许多东西可以等待,唯有孝顺不能。

希望奶奶你看见我的时候,会破涕为笑。

Thursday, June 20, 2013

一年后的感想

2013年6月14日—去年的今天,是充满感触与不舍的一天。感谢你们一直陪我到最后一刻,那一刻的每分每秒都是难以忘怀的感动。我不由自主地哭了。除了是怀念的眼泪,还有更多的感激。

我从未想过自己的中学生涯可以如此精彩。虽然只有零碎的高三记忆,但对我而言,这就已经很完整了。感谢让这一切实现的你们。

我很感激去年的分享会,它就像是一个深刻的画面,烙印在脑海里。我想我这辈子是太幸福才会遇到你们的吧。永远珍惜身边的人,因为我们无法保证明天的醒来,还会不会见到他们。Live for today, because tomorrow is not promised.

也感谢照片以外,那些认识或不认识,给予祝福也带给我无限欢乐和感动的人,每个用心写信写卡折星星折玫瑰的你们。太多太多的爱我还保留着,在心里还是热热的。

我收到比我应得的爱还要多。有时候真的很想念以往这样的日子,可以一起欢笑一起奋斗一起努力的日子,谢谢你们。

我们往往都在偶然的遇见中相识,在没有预料的情况下成为某些人生活里面重要的一个人。

人一出生,就有一个与生俱来的天赋,它叫记忆。它奇妙的地方在于回忆的心情,如果选择以正面的心态回忆,你会发现,原来回忆是如此温馨,是如此美好。

不管大家喜不喜欢去年的今天;不论大家喜不喜欢自己的过去;就算大家忘了去年的这个日子;即使有一天,或是多年后,发生了一些预想不到的事,让我们都停止联络了;不管时间过了多久,我想让你们知道,我不会忘记大家给了曾浩男这辈子最好的礼物。我深信自己还是会因为这些年一起成长,一起承担和互相扶持的回忆而感到温馨,感恩和感动。我深深地相信,你也相信吧?

因为你们,我感觉自己不是一个人。这世界因为爱的存在所以精彩。你们的爱就是我的动力。

在这里送上我最真挚的祝福。

你的青春,无悔吗?

最后,我还是忘了说一句。我好想念大家,我很想念你们。

真的觉得不好意思,对不起大家。
事隔了那么久,
一直没有公开感谢大家的礼物和祝福。
大家都把照片放上面子书等等..
但你们每一个人的心血,
就是我私人的珍藏。

谢谢你们。
我除了感恩,也很感激。
这段独家的回忆,我先收下了。
以后有机会,一定要好好报答你们。

虽然它不是六年以来,
一直陪伴着我打拼的一对鼓棒,
但它的价值,是无价的,
因为你们给予它的意义。

吴圣雄教练
我最敬爱的教练,就这样过了一年。
我想,这是唯一一张跟你的合照吧。
我好想念你啊。
谢谢你一直把我当成是你的儿子一样看待。
我会记得你跟我说的每一句话,
你的教诲,我永远铭记于心。

谢谢你把你丰富的人生经历告诉我。
我相信,多年后,
我也会有自己精彩的人生体验,跟你分享。

相隔了一年。就这样,自己活在地球的另一端,距离亲戚朋友们,一年了。这18个年头的回忆难免让我回想起每个与他们共同度过的时光。

话说回来,我目前还是很满意在这里的生活。以前的想法就是既然已经来到了,唯有改变自己跟内心抗拒的心态,虽然心里一直都是在挣扎的,但我学会克制,承受。现在的心情变了,变得乐观了。我还记得来这里之前的那种挣扎与矛盾的心情,这是我一辈子也不会忘记的记忆。可是现在来到了,我很感激父母的带动,让我重新出发,让我学会对很多事情改观,让我学会改变自己的心情。与其让环境适应自己,不如让自己适应环境。与其错过这世界的美好,我更想要享受生活里的每个点滴。

加拿大是个四季国家,春夏秋冬,每个季节都有它自身的含义。然而,奋斗的理由并没有随着季节的变化而改变,生活还是要努力。虽说冬天的时候,要完全专心读书还是做什么,还是有难度,但它完全就是新的尝试。哈!在这里,四季奇妙的地方是很多时候,都只感觉到两个季节,好像已经分类好那样,不是冬天就是夏天。温差时大时小,起伏不定。可能这样说会让人觉得很恐怖,很担忧什么的,但习惯了这样的生活就不会觉得怎样。而且有时如果太冷的话,爱人就在身边,也可以牵着他的小手,这也是一种另乐趣。因为生活中的一些点滴,促成永恒。

这是一个混合了多元种族的国家,不同肤色有着不同的文化习俗,当然也有他们自身的背景故事,但微妙的是在于大家都能融洽地生活在一起,在这社会里,所以才没有丝毫种族歧视的现象。当然,这给了自己很多向不同人学习的机会,获得不同的经验,认识各种性格的人,从中我学到很多,给了我丰富的人生经历。我一直不敢改变自己的生活环境,我害怕自己短期内无法适应,本来就过得好好的,为什么要改变。可是如今面对它的时候,在逆境的环境下才会猛然发现,其实也没有好怕的,最难的也不过是踏出去的第一步。

人家说,万事起头难,也许就是这个意思吧。我相信,逆境可以让一个人成长,也会让一个人更努力,更珍惜现在拥有的一切。果然,有些事就是没有尝试过,永远都不会知道。勇敢踏出第一步吧,这样才会知道未来是什么样子的。我不敢说这样一定是好的改变,但我们就是每天都在不停地从错误中学习,学习怎么去做到更好。过程中曾经跌倒,受伤,经历,失败,承受,坚强。我们跌跌撞撞,生命起起落落,但也因为生命出现的缺憾,所以才会有它美丽的地方。

在这里,我发现大家都很友善,很乐于助人。政府也很积极地推行社区义工。它深远的意义让我开始爱上这样的的活动,也逐渐让自己发现它在这社会里的重要性。它不单激励大家对社会的热心,也建立了一个充满关怀的爱心的社会,帮助所需的人。来到这里我才发现,这世界有很多不幸的人,需要人们的鼓励与支持。参与义工服务的方式有很多种,也其实很简单。只要你有一技之长就可以自荐了,日行一善,把爱传出去,何乐而不为呢?这世界还有很多不温饱的小孩需要我们的帮忙。帮助这些需要帮助的人,自己也会一种满足感,那是快乐。

不管距离有多遥远,尽管自己遇到再煎熬的事,或是天大的挫折,我永远知道地球的另一端,还有大家,还有每个在电脑或手机前看着这部落格的你们。现在就想抓紧时机,问候在世界各地的你们,你们好吗?你有多久没好好疼爱自己了?记得,累的时候就抱抱自己,告诉自己,你是值得被爱,值得被好好对待的。一定要相信,明天会是更好的。多少的庆幸,多少的美丽风景,都是因为放了自己所以才变得清晰。

当然有时候我还是会想家,可是我更相信时间很快会过去,自己很快就可以回家了。相信我,等我吧。我一定会带给你们惊喜的,生活就是连绵不断的惊喜。曾浩男耶!只要有这个信念就够了。

今天惠禅问我:“你从一年前的今天,到现在的今天,还有跟多少人联系?或说,跟谁不再联系?”

我回答他:“我发现很多都有保持联系耶,无可否认,有些变得生疏了,关系不比从前,感觉变陌生了,毕竟还是有一段距离。但有些反而更珍惜,关系变得更密切了。生命中有无数的过客,这些人曾经来过,也走过 。但最后逗留的,往往是最想珍惜的那些人。”

有时候我会在想,这个距离对自己来说是什么东西。如果每样东西都有它存在的理由的话,那它出现在我生命里的原因又是什么?无可否认,这样的距离,让我失去了一些我这辈子根本不想失去的东西。同时,它也让我学会坚强和承担;更懂得生命中,真正关心自己的人,其实还有很多。永远不会离开你的人,终究不会离开你、始终会留下陪伴着你,到最后。距离不是必然的,但如果生命给了这样的考验,也不灰心,最起码证明了自己经得起时间的考验。至少对我而言,距离让我清晰地看见着世界,看见自己想珍惜的人,就在眼前;更懂得珍惜对自己付出的人。没有人敢保证这会是容易的,但它一定会是值得的。不想放弃,只因为与其放弃,我更想珍惜。不管距离多遥远,我们始终有着同一片天。

既然再怎么改变也不能让每个人都喜欢我们,那还不如做自己真正想做的人。
我们可以因为别人而努力,过得更坚强更争气,但不能为了谁而活。
我们应该为了自己而活,掌管自己的人生。毕竟到最后,我们终究还是要为了自己的人生负责。
在生命的低潮时,有时候会不明白上天替你做的安排,但这并不表示他没有把最好的留给你。最好的,会在后头,赶上你的脚步。

能向各位前辈学习,一起同台演出,是我这一生的荣幸 :)
这些节奏,还在我深深的脑海里。
这也是我在这曲目里最喜欢的地方之一,
少了鼓棒的伴奏,还是可以靠着双手去追逐梦想。


这应该就是自己在中学时段,最引以为荣的作品吧。
它叫绽放
它有它存在的理由,它有它背后的故事。
而这些,只有经历过、用心感受的人,
才能体会,才会知道。

在这里,我很想感谢一个在我身边一直给予鼓励
和不管怎样都不断支持我的人。
你就是这些灵感的来源。
谢谢你。

谢谢教练,谢谢陈颖捷,
谢谢在绽放里面,每一个一起流过汗水的人,谢谢你们愿意"花"时间,
你们的努力都没有白费。
你们真的太可爱了,我也忘了花儿们这名字怎么来的,可是就是喜欢这样叫大家。
我很怀念大家一起奋斗的日子,
站在舞台上,全神贯注地表演以及呈现。
到现在有时候仍然会哼起当年的花式,回想起最初的热血。

谢谢每个表演者,幕前幕后的工作人员,
每位在台下不论是很投入在看表演,
还是欢呼喝彩的观众。
谢谢你们让这个梦想实现。
大家辛苦了。

2012年的演出,我呐喊,
当时也不过只是个平庸的喊叫声。
2013年的今天,我想再次呐喊,
但这一次是在内心压抑已久的呐喊。
人什么都可以没有,但就是不可以没有梦想。

从台下观众,到台上表演者,再到创作人。
台上的十年,换来台上的几分钟。
这六年的鼓龄,六年的鼓艺,六年的经历,
过程是挫折,寂寞,孤单,打击,快乐和感动的结合。
因为当中的坚持,我有今天的成绩。
重要的是,因为这份努力,我看到了希望,我得到了肯定。
我想说,不管去到哪里,
创作永远都不会有终点 x
既然热衷于鼓,就不要让它停止。
不论是什么都好,不要让这些原本属于你的热忱消失。
你的热忱,会为你带来很多奇迹。

孔子曾经说过:“言忠信,行笃敬。既来之,则安之。”

无论去到哪里,做任何事情,
都要全心全意,让心跟随着你。

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

当你开始为梦想的第一步努力的时候,
剩下的,别担心,这世界会帮你。
最重要的还是,如何克服,踏出第一步。

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Love Somebody

"Love Somebody" by Maroon 5 reminds me of this special girl who means the world to me. We have known each other since 2009, December. We didn't really get to talk face to face until July in the following year, 2010, when we get really close to each other. We have already known each other for 4 years and it still makes me excited talking to her, being with her. It was that phone call that started a whole lot of things. We have been together for 2 years and a half and it appears that at least to me, she still loves me. I want to thank her so much for loving me and letting me love her. Love is the greatest feeling in the world, because the person will always stand up for you, no matter what happens.

Her family is the most wonderful thing I have ever known, she has three siblings, an elder sister, a younger brother and sister. They are the most cheerful people that I have ever encountered. I didn't get to know much about her family, but as far as I can remember, her family is a wonderful one.

She has three little cute dogs. The interesting part, though, was she somehow made me felt interested in them, although I am not naturally attracted to dogs. This drastically changed my opinion towards dogs, because I started to feel like they are a part of life, just like how much they would mean to her. I started to learn how to deal with dogs, what is it like, what does it takes to raise dogs and all those cool stuffs. I realized raising a dog is not that bad after all. I am actually impressed with how she likes dogs a lot. That just shows how compassionate she is, not animals specifically but towards others. I always wondered how it`s like to be around your favorite person. I guess I found my answer. Being around with her makes you think that time together just isn`t enough, it never was.

Another surprising fact is that she prefers lilies over roses. I guess that's what makes her so special, at least to me. This is when I first learned to make her lilies out of paper. As much as I enjoyed making them, I don`t think my lilies are as spot on as the roses I made, though I still think that roses look better than lilies in both ways.

I remembered how much she love to dance. I can feel deep down in my heart that it is essentially the most important thing in her life. She is an amazing dancer and she never stops to draw my attention every single time she dance, her movements, her breathe. She's this talented girl who's irresistibly cute and bright. That's exactly how amazing she is. It's interesting how I was in the drum club while she was in the dance club at high school. She makes coming to school fun and enjoyable. I always look forward every day, when we can see each other and start talking about almost everything. There are days where we were busy with club activities but I always look forward to the little time we spent after we are done with the club activities. We used to perform individually and never had the chance to perform together. However, on a special occasion, we had the opportunity to perform on stage for the Blooming 20th concert. This fulfilled my dream as a performer, friend, admirer, soul mate and lover. We shared many remarkable memories on stage, off stage or any places that have our footprints on it.

The little things she whispered to me, the sensitive things that she was so embarrassed to talk to anyone about, the time we shared together, the diary that we wrote to each other, they might not seem to be special to anyone but they meant so much to me. I love how she'll draw some cute little pictures in it to make it more interesting to read, I especially love her hugs and kisses. Those are ultimately the most memorable high school moment in my life. (P/s: I still think my impression of you is flawless, until the very last day I left.)

Unfortunately, she often experience gastric pain due to genetic inheritance. Every night I pray, just so that she could take good care of herself and her pain could be reduced as much, and so she wouldn't have to suffer from pain. Having said that, I understand that this illness can never be recovered but as long it's treated with care, it would be under control and everything can still work out normally, as long as I pray, every day. I hate myself for not being able to do anything other than staying by her side. The thought of she getting hurt hurts me so much. I wish I could do something, or even anything if that`s what it takes to see a smile on her face again.

The truth is, the more I experience life, the more I realize how important she is to me. Despite the days I'm not able to reach her, I know we are mentally connected, like nothing could ever separate us. I mean, no one has ever gotten my attention like she has.

We shared a history that made us temporary connected, we met in a way that no one else could, I know she loves me, and I hope she knows I love her more than she could ever imagine.

After all the ups and downs and mess that we have been through, she`s still here, she`s still here right beside me. Thanks for sticking with me from the first day until now, I couldn't be more thankful. I really miss us so much. Words aren't enough to describe how much I miss you. I hope we can stay, I want us to stay.

This song reminds of the you and the beauty of love that surrounds us. I still believe, I still want to believe, even if it means hurting myself. Whenever I came across a picture of you, I`m reminded of your love and how much you have done for me. You will always remain special to me, deep in my heart, I love you.

I promise I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. For you and for love.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

还是希望你幸福的

为对方好 就是倾听 明白 支持 并给予祝福
站在对方的角度为对方着想 而不是为了自己的需要伤害对方

真正拥有 往往不在于自己能拥有多少 而是在于自己能放开多少
能放开多少 你的人生就会有多少快乐
放得开 是因为珍惜曾经拥有的美好
留在心里的画面 偶尔那段回忆也会很美

并不是所有的放下都是负面的
能为不拥有而知足快乐
不管过程是痛苦或是快乐 都是一种获得

幸福 是不去追求过多的幸福而觉得不幸福

你的快乐 才是我最在乎的

如果我爱上你的笑容 要怎么收藏 要怎么拥有

其实我也舍不得
但至少在你面前 我要努力让自己微笑
我不失望难过 因为我不愿看见你的难过
我不愿告诉你我的不安 因为我奢望你的幸福

现在我唯一能做的 就是尊重你的决定

我要无限的快乐

(五月天 - 知足)

Monday, May 27, 2013

Why I want to be with you

And so this is the place I will stay for hours and hours recalling my memories.
Whenever I am sitting in front of my laptop, putting my thoughts into words, watching them appear word by word on my screen, I can feel that words are important in life.

It is something powerful that comes with an emotion, or maybe more? A single word might change the world. It might make someone happy, make them feel good about themselves, or vice versa. The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of words in life. Without the presence of words, you will not be able to understand each other that well. Likewise, attitude, to me, is more important than the past, than failure, than circumstances, than what other people think or say or do. The remarkable thing though, is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. They can either hurt or heal, depending on how you perceive it.

This brings me to my story today.


A love story, a beautiful one.











When I think about quitting, I take a deep breath, and I





This is what I have been telling myself for the past few months. What haven't changed is every time I close my eyes, the first thing I see, is you. People always say that never give up on something you really want, it's difficult to wait, but it's more difficult to regret.




I have been spending time wondering if I should give up on you. Some said, we are still young and there is yet to experience. University's life, clubs and those spectacular stuffs. Inevitably, we might meet someone who's really awesome and they might even be a perfect match for us. I asked myself tons of times. All this time, I've been thinking about her, thinking about me, thinking how to make things work, how to make things happen.







I pray to meet you, everyday.



Well actually, technically speaking, distance is a problem, at least physically. It's true that it will become so much more harder when you needed a hug or any comforting words to feel better after having a bad day. That being said, despite the fact that we are far apart, it always comes to me that I feel that you are by my side, no matter what state I'm in, happy or sad. I learn to be independent, I know you are always there for me. You make me feel this way, that sort of feeling that can't be replaced. I learn to appreciate how amazing our bond was. It is because of you I know it's worth waiting for. It is because although I know I can't be there holding you every night, it will be worth it on those nights when I can.




Badly, actually.



Every morning during spring, when the flowers start to bloom and the fragrance spreads in the direction of the wind, I'll be holding your hand, listening to the birds singing rhythmically, feeling the warm breeze blowing softly across your face. You can spread your wings and run across the lush green grass over the field if you want, and I will run to you, following your footsteps.

I always wanted to walk along the beach with you during summer. Walking barefoot along the sandy shorelines, splashing water seeing your hair gets wet.

When it comes to Fall, I want to stroll with you to the park, observe the leaves turn brown and fall to the ground, pick apples with you until the sun goes down. When the stars come out, sitting beside you, we will watch the stars until we both fall asleep.

When the streetlights lighting along the streets, the children playing in the winter snow, watching the snow together, we'll walk through the thick snow, sled down the snowy hill together with a sled, experience the most beautiful time of the year. It will be really cold out there. But don't worry, you've got me here. I will hold you tight in my arms to keep your body warm as we walk.



I used to think once we get through this, I am soooooooo gonna propose you and walk you through the doors of love.
It seems to me that people didn't trust long term relationships because they choose not to.
The distance from Canada to Malaysia is 12826.83 km, but all I have is hope.




It's amazing how there are 7 billion people in the world, and I was lucky enough to meet you. How I wish that we weren't so far apart. I'd pop out the other side on your screen and hold you tight until we fall asleep. And I would do that everyday just to look at your face. But that's alright, I was lucky enough to have had you.




I am sorry but thankful for those who have wished and constantly believe in us. Sorry for letting you down, but I still wanna express my gratitude so much and thank you for supporting. What you did in the past and what you do in the future will always stay in my heart.
I guess if I love you, I should let you move on.

We have made this far,
I will treasure the intimacy between us in my heart,
thank you.






Nevertheless, I truly hope to see those who are in a long distance relationship can overcome this barrier and show that nothing matters when there's love because where there is love, there is hope. And I pray.





If you really love someone, let them go.
If they stay away then they were never yours to begin with.
If they come back then they are yours to keep.





我们都是一边珍惜着过往 一边努力的奔向未来
We have our days and we're in it, ALONE. Many times, without any bed-warmers or space-fillers. All I have to say is stay strong and don't stop believing. You'll never know what will happen until the very end.


End.

(Just give me a reason - P!nk)